CMU is inspiring.

I’m not sure when exactly this realization happened, but as you start integrating within the school, you get this feeling that you’re one of the most capable people out there, that you can indeed accomplish anything if you so desire. There are stories that professors tell of people, people who were on the same path as you, who have gone down in history and revolutionized some area of the world through their work. In classes, there are students dozens of times smarter than you: There are 16-year-olds already in their sophomore year, there are classmates working on math research papers, and there are other freshmen who have already passed out of all of the first-year courses. And what you come to realize is that these people… they just seem to be ordinary people. Perhaps they just have slightly more talent or more drive to do things when they were young, but what discredits the fact that you don’t have the same (or even more) talent or drive? What’s stopping you from finding out, now that the playing field is pretty much level?

Perhaps all this newfound energy and confidence for work, ironically, comes from feeling inferior. Motivation, then, stems from discomfort. Why do anything if the status quo already feels great? It’s good to find yourself in a place of discomfort, as only in discomfort can you truly make progress. As one of my professors boldly claimed in a recent lecture after chugging some more coke, it’s a privilege to feel inferior. It’s a privilege to be in the same room as the top 0.1%, to struggle on the abstract and theoretical while there are many out there who struggle to put food on the table. And such a privilege must not be wasted.

Time shouldn’t be wasted anywhere, but in a place like this, where motivation comes almost for free and energy is literally emanating from the ground and a plethora of opportunities are just a brisk walk away, how I use my time should really be measured in minutes, not hours. If one wishes to maximize their potential, what better place to do it than here? What better time than now? Nowhere else in my life so far have I found this kind of energy and confidence (and humility) in myself. There’s a certain vibe with the people here that really just gets you going.

But a lingering question remains: am I going in the right direction just by attempting to make the most of my time, maximize my talents, and learn as much as I can from as many people as possible? Is it enough just to have an appetite to learn and devour whatever comes my way? What if I run up the wrong hills?

Well, I claim that there are no wrong hills. Or at least, you run up so many hills that some of them turn out to be useful. Why dawdle and spend your time consumed by indecision, deciding on which hill to run on when you can just run them all? Why decide between software development and math when you can pursue both AND run 30 miles a week AND learn to cook AND have a healthy lifestyle? (Sheesh, I never would’ve had this thought anywhere else but here.)

CMU is truly magical in this regard. You’re here to have your beliefs challenged, your intellect broken down and built back up, and all your self-doubts becoming apparent in the face of all these prodigies and talent here. And what do you do in the face of these trials? Persist. And what does that teach you? That you can - that you’re capable.

My heart is in the work.

postnote: I typed 38,000+ keys today, while I average typically around 10k to 20k at home. geez. There’s something magical here, I’m telling ya.